Today people have the most far flung definitions of friendship, which they believe to be true deep within their heart (Jer17:5-9) but such ridiculous precepts concerning friendship is made possible to them, thanks to their estranged relationship with God from fallen Adam. Now, some might ask in trying to justify themselves saying: what is the proof of Original Sin or how can you say there is such a thing as the fall of Adam? For anyone who believes God exist and is good, should understand that when God made man, He would not grant man free will so as to be blind to the truth and live in such spiritual depravity as men do today. When God made man on the sixth day, everything was good (Gen1:26-31) and God made man in His own image i.e. a reflection of His own character and nature. So since men throughout history are naturally inclined to their love for sin, this by itself is evidence of the fall of mankind in Adam (Rom5:14-17).
12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.
13 “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
14 “You are My friends if you do what I command you.
15 “No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.
16 “You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.
17 “This I command you, that you love one another.
If we are able to grasp in faith the mighty nature of God, we would understand that everything that exist, exist for the glory God. Such is also friendship, that when we learn of the holy communion the three Persons share in the Godhead, we are inspired to live in such communion ourselves. However, such a state of mind and heart requires us to know God intimately and this is only possible when we know our Bibles from cover to cover.
Prov 3 (in the context of Jer31:33 & John15:16)
3 Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 So you will find favor and good repute In the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones.
Today, we have people who define true friendship as existing well outside the vocabulary of: thank you, welcome, please and sorry, but such relationships are covetous simply because they implicitly expect something better in return for whatever they do in the name of friendship. So if truth be told, the reason people do not like accepting words of gratitude is because they are in a habit of implicitly expecting payback for everything they do. Ironically, people find love in the abusive language their friends use on them but if you were to replace that foul language with the truth about themselves, that would not only hurt them beyond any foul language they are used to but would drive them to rage instead. This by itself goes to show that there is no substance in such worldly friendship, which cannot withstand truth but cruises along only on sweet lies. It is no wonder that a person only realizes who his true friends are when he is down and out in life, and the number of those true friends is close to a negligible fraction compared to those whom he previously knew as friends. For this very reason Jesus encourages relationships, where our giving is not based on how much we get back because such defines true faith, where we understand that our life’s provision is in God in all righteousness and not in men from wicked interest.
11 “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
12 And Jesus also went on to say to the one who had invited Him, “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment.
13 “But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind,
14 and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
In understanding the mighty nature of God, we learn that God is God to the extent that even what is contrary to Him, glorifies His justice. Today most relationships outside the family are immoral because they are either based on covetousness, adultery, bearing false witness, thievery or murder. Consider the honour among thieves and gangsters, that relationship is sinful or consider for that matter a syndicate whose livelihood comes from fooling the people at large. What about people who befriend others only because of their material possessions defining covetousness while others have adultery as their motive for friendship. Such relationships do well in only glorifying God’s justice.
7 All the brothers of a poor man hate him; How much more do his friends abandon him! He pursues them with words, but they are gone.
8 He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; He who keeps understanding will find good.
10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
To conclude, there is great blessing in realizing God is God because when we learn to evaluate ourselves by the standard of God through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, as over evaluating ourselves by the love reciprocated from our friends, we are brought to terms in understanding our every sustenance comes from God and from this spiritual disposition of truth (Jn4:23-24), God blesses all our relationships in King Christ (Lk14:11). True friendship therefore is like bricks held together with mortar, where a brick cleaving to the mortar can be synonymously pictured as one trusting in God and having God’s moral law as the thumb rule for every friendship. This in turn gives us a genuine neighbourly outlook and concern for our friends, free from the sin of covetousness and adultery that emerges from the idolatry of self.