My life… the Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde!

Mat 10
19 “But when they hand you over, do not worry about how or what you are to say; for it will be given you in that hour what you are to say.

When I think of the people of this world, I am filled with some remorse in learning that these are denied the desire and capacity to pour out their hearts to God or even if it is to express themselves truly, and for most part their impotent/reprobate desire and incapacity only frustrates them into a position, which is so uncomfortable that would rather not talk about it. However, for the Godly, who are given to examine themselves truthfully and return to God, we are blessed as the Holy Spirit regenerates us with the capacity to express every feeling and insecurity in coming clean unto God thanks be to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Lam 3
40 Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the LORD.

Hebrews 4
16 Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

The reason I write today is because I am convicted by God the Holy Spirit concerning the way I go about life. Where though I have the desire to live according to the moral precepts of God and in most cases do but in my backsliding I am nothing short of a monster. In those short spurts/phases of my backsliding I switch from an obedient adopted son to a disobedient wretch like going from the morally sophisticated Dr. Jekyll to an immoral beast Mr. Hyde, and I wake up in the morning feeling nothing but the deepest sorrow for grieving the Holy Spirit (Eph4:30).

Rom 7
14 For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin.
15 For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.
16 But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good.
17 So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.
19 For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.
20 But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
21 I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good.
22 For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man,
23 but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members.
24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?
25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.

The above scripture sites my condition and the Doctor who remedies this for me in His time is the Lord Jesus Christ (Mat9:12). As Jesus once said of His sleeping disciples in Mark 14:38, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. For the living spirit which Christ has secured for me in His Salvation (Jn3:3, 16) desires to do the good pleasure of God but the sin inherent in me from Adam, desires and meets out only the most violent and sickening aspects of my lifestyle. Such is the battle the Holy Spirit wages in me against my uncleanliness.

Galatians 5 (flesh, Biblically refers to Sinful Desire… from the fall)
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.
17 For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Yet in all these things I learn God is Sovereign (reigns over all) because these trials of mine only appear to be blessings in disguise (Rom8:28) and I emerge from these, learning only the profound and more intimate aspects of my Christian faith. I always happen to come out stronger concerning knowing the Lord my God more richly with deeper regards for my neighbour at par with myself (Mat22:37-40). Such is the love, God desires we willing choose and put into practice, which is neither blind nor incoherent like the emotional gibberish the world defines as love but this is love defined by God, who is true love Himself (1John4:16).

John 6
39 “This is the will of Him who sent Me, that of all that He has given Me I lose nothing, but raise it up on the last day.

45 “It is written in the prophets, ‘And they shall all be taught of God.’ Everyone who has heard and learned from the Father, comes to Me.

To conclude, unlike His Church, the world’s people are denied any clear/honest expression of themselves because they are filled with the guilt of their own sin before God and from their fallen pride are the most disoriented, not knowing our lowly estate as sinners before God in all truth. This knowledge is the believer’s true prostration before God which he/she exercises through a Godly (law-abiding) life. Thanks be to Jesus Christ that my life is one saved through His redemptive merit, in which I am blessed with a living spirit to examine myself truly before the righteous Majesty of the Triune God Almighty and plead for mercy in the name of my Saviour whose Name is above all names, that is my Lord, God the Son Jesus Christ. Praise and thanks be to God Almighty for none can thwart/withhold His mighty arm in Salvation (Ps89:13).

Published by defeateddragon

I am a post-millennial reformed Christian (Trinitarian) in Mumbai – India, coming from a Roman Catholic background. I began studying my Bible in 2006 & find the post-millennial reformed doctrine to be the purest form of Biblical Christianity. Whether you are Roman Catholic, Charismatic, Arminian, Premillennialist, Amillennialists or even a non-Christian for that matter, I intend to use my writing to bring you to trust the Sovereign Lord in whom we are called to establish our lives on, as He sanctifies His called-out ones into the moral likeness of His Son. So, as commanded unto every Christian in the Great Commission, my duty is to teach the rich Christian standard of life that God has given us in the Moral Law because the ultimate purpose of any human being is to reflect the nature of God as revealed in the Moral Law and presented to us in Jesus Christ.

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