My Secret Sin of Self-Adulation!

Gen 3
3 but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, Or You Will Die.'”
4 The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die!
5 “For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and YOU WILL BE LIKE GOD, knowing good and evil.”
6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.

From the account of the fall of man, there is much to learn. Summing verses 3 and 5 above, we see that the fall of man involves a spiritual death (broken communion with God) and from this spiritual death we also see that fallen man has turned blind to what his spiritual disposition really is before God, blind to such an extent where man himself yearns for worship in some form or the other. We see this very much in society today where pedophiles and homosexual perverts assert their rights to be treated with respect despite their spiritual morbidity.

I have never really shared much about myself in my blog post but now I am compelled to, so that you may see the sheer weight of what of our sinful inherent Adamic nature. Somewhere in 2003-05 I was being treated for schizophrenia and was put on medication, which also catalyzed my weight. The medication was supposed to limit my thoughts so my mind would be more stable and I could live a normal life. Well I am still on this medication though I now only take the lowest form of this dose.

By character I have been mostly an introvert and shy, I have now come to notice that most of problems were because of my secret self-adulation. This may not be such a problem for other people but for it was for me because whatever took place around whether that be on TV, radio, a street banner, my neighbour shouting etc., that all had some connection with me. Why? You see being an introvert, you don’t really go out and ask what is happening but you construct a story in your head with you at the center of it all… just because (you/I) (are/am) so important. I was dead in my relationship with God and I knew nothing more of Christ than what was formally practiced around me. Estranged from God as an unbeliever, I did not comprehend the spiritual weightage of the first and foremost and greatest commandment (Matt 22:37-38), which was to love God with all my heart and mind even beyond myself.

You see even though I had heard preachers preach umpteen times; I never gauged the sheer importance of totalitarian faithfulness to Christ in thought as well as action. I however at that time of being ignorant of the spiritual aspect of His Moral Law, I attempted to resolve my introvert nature by being brutally honest and I lost a few good friends with that, while one has nicknamed me the ‘possibility thinker’ I think. What I have learned now is that it was not my introvert nature, which was an issue but this notion in my head that I was so important that nothing which happened around me could have any significance if it was not connected with me directly or indirectly. It was almost as though I idolized myself secretly. Even if I did something good my introvert nature would buffet me from openly seeking praise but deep within I desired that praise enough to construct stories out of thin air based purely on my presumptuous nature. With time I have turned audacious and this has all been because of my secret self-adulation, which points to my inherent Adamic nature; self-adulation, which was intense enough to equal self-worship (Gen 3:5).

I am now coming to believe that if people knew as their very basic thought, the kind of devotion the Lord requires of them, we would have all the world’s psychiatrist out of work.

John 4
23 But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.

Isaiah 14
12 “How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, You who weakened the nations!
13 For you have said in your heart: ‘ I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation On the farthest sides of the north;
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.’
15 Yet you shall be brought down to Sheol, To the lowest depths of the Pit.

Another thing you would notice from the Genesis 3 account is that Satan (Lucifer) and his angels had fallen before man had fallen. For how else would Satan tempt Adam and Eve while knowing that falling from the glory of God makes one view oneself as a god? Isaiah 14 mentioned above speaks precisely of such a fall from the glory of God.

From this we learn that not only is it best for one to view the Triune God as nothing else but God (the Sovereign Lord over all that is in heaven, earth and world below) but also to learn to submit one’s folly of self-adulation at the feet Christ in repentance i.e. spiritual prostration.

I am not saying I am there yet and have successfully done what needs to be done but I am saying that God the Holy Spirit and convicted me of such an ungodly mindset and it is making a big difference in how am beginning to see things around me and deal with them.

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