Dating and Marriage: A Biblical perspective

Hello people today I write on something very few write on and that is on dating and marriage from a video of Andrew Wommack. I feel that this may bless many people and even bring them closer to Jesus Christ.

Mark 10:2-9
2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

From Mark 10:2-9 we see that it is God who brings people together, God did not ordain divorce and fighting but if that is what you feel marriage is about then that is exactly what you are going to get. Genesis 1:27 says that God made human beings, male and female, indicating their unity, He did not say male then female. Genesis 2:18 says that the woman was made as a suitable companion to help man; animals did not supply man the fellowship God was looking for. Adam was made to fall in a deep sleep and God used a piece of Adam’s rib to create a partner for Adam whom Adam called Woman because she was taken out of him.

Many people date out of peer pressure but it is God who brings people their mate and he may even hit them over the head that they may see what is brought under their very nose.

Proverbs 18:22
22 Find a wife and you find a good thing; it shows that the Lord is good to you.

Psalms 34:10
10 Even lions go hungry for lack of food,
but those who obey the Lord lack nothing good.

From the above two scriptures we can derive that in obeying God He, brings you a good thing which is a spouse.

Matthew 6:33
33 Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you with all these other things.

Think of it like this you, your mate and the Lord are these three points of an equidistant-triangle, with the God as the top point and you and your mate are the two points at the same level below the top point. In finding your mate you ought to move to the point above (God), God will see your partner do the same and it is in God where you will meet your mate and unlike the world, it is not you and your partner head toward each other and when you meet then you choose whether or not the two of you ought meet up with God. The source of everlasting life then becomes an option in your marriage and you see no blessing as you carry forward this kind of relationship.

There is greater blessing in seeking God and in God finding your partner. Remember as in 3 John verse 2, you will prosper only as your soul prospers and your soul will prosper only as you build on your relationship with God. As your soul prospers, your provision for your body will be met, be it a house, a car, clothing, food or even a mate. The only word of God; the Bible says that Solomon was the richest man that ever lived, it said that gold was as common as silver in his kingdom and silver was as common as stones found on the streets, Solomon seeked God not for power and riches but for wisdom to minister to God’s people and God was pleased and gave him wisdom and also riches and power. People would travel from nations afar to hear Solomon’s wisdom.

We need to understand that we need to find our provision in God and not give into ways of our desire. Even if you are looking to get married again then he may do that as you seek Him, I say may because God’s will is left with God alone. God will however not withhold anything good from His people. We therefore need not go about dating as though we are shopping around for a mate. God has made man and woman, He separated you for your spouse and you ought to be truthful to your future mate even if you have not met them as yet, that is the faith God is looking for people to have in Him.

If you are physically or emotionally involved with anyone then even if your conscience speaks against your relationship, you might find yourself bound to that person just to avoid separation trauma in that persons life but if that was not meant to be then it was not meant to be whatever you do. Falling in love is a nicer name the world has for lust, which is a cheap imitation of God’s kind of love. Love is not a wild feeling or a consuming desire but a discipline which drives a person to take care and do good without any intention of the returns. For some, this kind of love may need to be taught in steadfastness to make this go from a virtue to a habit.

Titus 2:3-4
Older women… They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,

This is what love really is, it will not always necessarily involve good people chemistry. This love is not based on our emotion, when we see the way God loves us, that he just chooses to love us no matter what we have done. We have been made in His image and we may have our own reasons to be bitter with certain people but we ought to turn around and say to them I choose to go the better way and say: in Christ I have nothing but love for you. You can be honest with God and tell him that you don’t feel any such love for that brother or sister but tell God that you trust Him more than any feeling of your own, and then throw yourself in that direction and God will see you through. Remember that your emotion is not the cause but the effect. Husbands and wives cultivate this kind of discipline in your love. You don’t fall in and out of love. God is the one who brought Eve for Adam, Adam did not bring for himself an Eve. We see that God made Himself responsible for getting an Eve for Adam and it was not the other way around where man went about things on his own. God is the one who established marriage, we see that in all cultures and even religions marriage is accepted as marriage to all the world i.e. a married couple from one region or culture will be recognized as married to any other region or culture even if they had a disagreement on divine belief.

Even if you are married then do not speculate if you are in the right place doing the right thing thinking: what if this? or what if that? Just speak out as a confession your love for your spouse, this you will only do if God is leading you and if God is leading you then what the world teaches about then feeling of love that brings butterflies in your stomach, this will never become your reason for you to love but rather it will be the effect of it. You will then love people like the way it is spoken of in 1Timothy 5:1-2.

1Timothy 5:1-2
1 Do not rebuke an older man, but appeal to him as if he were your father. Treat the younger men as your brothers, 2 the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, with all purity.

Remember marriage is a spiritual relationship in God, a relationship in which God leads you to your partner and then gives you the desire for that person but your relationship is not based on that desire but based on the Spirit of God that make the two of you one spirit. The girl may be Miss World and the guy may be a handsome actor or model but if their marriage is based purely on desire and attraction then they need to ready themselves for roller-coaster ride relationship till death or if God forbid, one falls off. A relationship laid on the foundation of fellowship in Christ is what will stand the test of time.

Psalms 66:10
You have put us to the test, God; as silver is purified by fire so you have tested us.

John 17:21 (Jesus’ word)
I pray that they may all be one. Father! May they be in us, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they be one, so that the world will believe that you sent me.

Like it or not, God is the binding substance in a relationship and in God a man and woman are united in spirit trusting that this is God’s will for them. This and nothing more is all that is required, with this you will never hurt your spouse for that will be like a sin because your spouse will be just as much a part of you as is God’s will for you and once this is established, your marriage or relationship will not have any bother. Take some time out reflect on this it will surely be redemptive and your marriage or relationship will stand the test of time. Hell will freeze over before your marriage or relationship breaks up. There are very few people who can say this because very few people have gone about marriage God’s way. If you do not base your marriage on God then it will be relationship built on sand which Satan will come to and destroy. Don’t think of yourself as any exception, God however has a plan even for you and in God you will find all good provision, including your partner. If you are married you need to go back to the basics, seek God together, you need to become one in Christ spiritually that you may remain in agreement. When the two of you agree in God then that will be the best deal.

If you are in a marriage or relationship that is not the way it ought to be then you will profit nothing by feeling condemned over it, there is no condemnation for those who live in Christ (Romans 8:1). Cast your stomach churning behind you and ask Jesus for forgiveness saying you dint know any better back then but do not stay in that resentment. Jesus will not hold this against you if you come with your case before Him.

Remember a spiritual relationship is what God is looking to cultivate in your marriage or relationship. Even if your partner does not want to be one with you spiritually, scripture says you can convert your spouse and you will be one even if your partner is not a believer.

1 Corinthians 7:14
14 For the unbelieving husband is made acceptable to God by being united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband. If this were not so, their children would be like pagan children; but as it is, they are acceptable to God.

Remember you have more affect on your spouse that anyone else in the world if you were to exercise your relationship that way. If you believe in Jesus then get your faith working and your faith will have your partner put right in the sight of God.

Genesis 5:1-2
This is the book of the generations of Adam. When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. 2 Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them Adam when they were created.

We see from the above scripture that God made man and woman but He called them both as Adam, they were one in God’s sight, it was Adam to called woman Eve but to God they were both one being. This is probably the reason why in many cultures women take the name of their husband after marriage. In marriage when you pray for your spouse you are actually praying for yourself. Scripture says that you get what you ask for and so when we call our spouses belittling things then that is exactly what we get. In marriage or a relationship you need to bless your spouse and confess it, you need to stop agitating your spouse. If you are asked to take out the garbage then you need to make your self see your marriage worth these small task there is no good is sowing a seed of strife every time you are asked for something.

There is a true husband and wife story told of a relationship where the wife treated her husband like he were a god and this husband would many a time dominate this woman physically and spiritually, he even went to the extent of trying to take her life a couple of times. The wife in time had a spiritual conversion experience and she began to put her trust in Jesus. The last time the husband came putting a knife to her throat, she laughed at the fury in her husbands face and said that she was the property of the Lord Jesus Christ, she confessed her love to her husband and spoke aloud that she believed her husband would come around and straighten out, she began to preach Jesus to her husband. The husband dropped the knife and said in calmer tone “if you love me then fix me something to eat”. He has never even hit her since then, he did try to talk her into his ruling but she resist till now thanks be to Christ Jesus. This has made him leave home while he wants to return only if things get back to as they were but she has made it clear that when their marriage is put together it will be put together the way God intended it to be. The man is now much a changed person and in his seeking counsel in the Lord, husband and wife now have the hope of being joined together in God.

So if you too have a similar situation you need to realize that we are not just fighting flesh and blood but wicked principalities and powers. If Satan who is in the world can make your spouse speak destructively and rob you of your peace then how much more can Jesus use you to speak words that will break the bondage the world and Satan have on your spouse. When your spouse comes home after a tiring day, your word will comfort and soothe them, so why don’t you make your belief in Jesus Christ stronger than the unbelief of your spouse and the effect you will see for yourself. Get into the word of God in the Bible and throw yourself and confess your love for your husband or wife and your body will follow. If you’re in this situation then release the power of faith in Jesus into your marriage or relationship. God said it is not good for Adam to be alone and so God did something good and got Eve for Adam. So if your relationship is not good then God is not the source of it but you can make it good by fully involving God in your relationship. There are people who say: why did God give me such a horrible partner? but if we study and follow God’s plan for our marriage and relationship then there is no doubt that God WILL make things work out.

The world goes about marriage carnally but it is God’s grace and mercy that keeps people still together. You can still surpass this and make your marriage surpass all the carnal junk we see on TV. We need to renew our minds from all that we learn from the world’s soap operas and stop listening to the voices that make you feel sick about your spouse.

Remember God’s kind of love is not an emotion but a decision from the heart and you can actually be taught from the Bible to love somebody. This may be the first time you have heard something like this and I surely hope this will not be the last time you hear this but this is the power of belief and only the living God who is one in the Father Son and Spirit can make this work. May be after you finish reading this, Satan will rob you of this learning as it is mentioned in the parable of the sower (Mark 4:15), Satan will try to remind you of old habits and the lies you accepted as true right from the time you were two years old. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says be not deceived, evil communication corrupts good manners. If you are going to take this and file it away in one corner then Satan who come to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) will make sure you don’t find this connection when you come back. If you get back saying well I don’t feel love for my husband or wife, then you are going to have to take this teaching and forcefully cram it inside you and uproot the unbelief the contrary junk that is now plaguing society. This kind of life as you understand will be a unique one, pretty much separated for the kind the world see as normal but if you do not want to have a Christ centered relationship with your spouse then a marriage filled with strife or divorce are your only options. It may be the case that you will go through the first, second and third divorce and still not feel you are with the right person. If you were to ask me, what about polygamy then I’d then I’d say this is a spouse we are talking about here and not some collector’s items for display. Biblically marriage is where two people unite in God as one, three or more is crowd and polygamy speaks more of lustful desire than anything else.

You need to have the junk of the world out of you and this will come when you renew your mind to follow God’s perfect plan for marriage. God never leave things to chance but actually finds us the right partner, we just need to be cooperative but even when we act in stubbornness and do things our way, God still has things under his control. See it something like this just as you will never notion that you are confined to planet earth, you will never notion that you have no free will just because you are confined to the will of God. In math when something infinite is taken away from some thing infinite then what you are left with is still infinite. You may find this funny but this is how it is, so even if your free will were to be infinite which will never happen even then you will be within the sovereign will of God.

So to conclude God has the right partner for you and since it is God who institutes marriage, we got to go about marriage and relationships according to God’s plan & if you want to get about doing something for your relationship or marriage then you may start by listening to Jesus.

Published by defeateddragon

I am a post-millennial reformed Christian (Trinitarian) in Mumbai – India, coming from a Roman Catholic background. I began studying my Bible in 2006 & find the post-millennial reformed doctrine to be the purest form of Biblical Christianity. Whether you are Roman Catholic, Charismatic, Arminian, Premillennialist, Amillennialists or even a non-Christian for that matter, I intend to use my writing to bring you to trust the Sovereign Lord in whom we are called to establish our lives on, as He sanctifies His called-out ones into the moral likeness of His Son. So, as commanded unto every Christian in the Great Commission, my duty is to teach the rich Christian standard of life that God has given us in the Moral Law because the ultimate purpose of any human being is to reflect the nature of God as revealed in the Moral Law and presented to us in Jesus Christ.

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